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Monday, September 17, 2012

Conan the Barbarian (1982) vs. Conan the Destroyer (1984)


Both fantasy films feature Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan, the Cimmerian warrior and future king. (SPOILERS)
 

Conan the Barbarian
The rap sheet.
Conan the Barbarian has a 77% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It received 5 Saturn Award nominations, including one for Best Fantasy Film, and Sandahl Bergman won a Saturn for Best Actress and a Golden Globe for New Female Star. Conan the Destroyer has a 30% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It received a Saturn Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress (Grace Jones), and Olivia d'Abo won a Razzie for Worst New Star.
Winner: Conan the Barbarian

The setup.
In Conan the Barbarian, a slave named Conan and his companions go on a quest to save a princess from a snake cult-leading sorcerer, and, perhaps, get revenge for the death of his parents. In Conan the Destroyer, warrior Conan - in exchange for his loved one back - escorts a virgin princess on a journey to acquire a horn, which will resurrect Dagoth, a god that will bring about the end of the world.
Winner: Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Destroyer
The execution.
Both films are cheesy fantasies with their share of action and laughable moments. Conan the Barbarian obviously covers his origins, but the quest doesn't come until halfway through the film. Conan the Destroyer begins with the quest and results in a shorter film with far less slow parts than its predecessor.
Winner: Conan the Destroyer

The ending.
In Conan the Barbarian, Conan defeats the sorcerer, returns the stolen princess, and leaves to roam the lands on many more adventures. The world is saved, but he has more battles to fight. In Conan the Destroyer, Conan kills the resurrected Dagoth and saves the girl from being sacrificed. Yet again, he must leave and fight more battles before he will one day claim his crown.
Winner: Conan the Barbarian

The wild card.
Conan the Barbarian has acting vets James Earl Jones and Max von Sydow. Conan the Destroyer has basketball star Wilt Chamberlain and the famous wrestler Andre the Giant. Is this really a competition?
Winner: Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian
Winner: Conan the Barbarian beats Conan the Destroyer 4-1

Ratings: Conan the Barbarian - ***, Conan the Destroyer - *** (They're flawed, but guilty pleasures.)

8 comments:

  1. LOL, I've seen neither but always wanted to hole away some night with a lot of beer and watch them back to back.

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    1. Haha. They're great fun, even though they're ridiculous at times. They also feature great music by Basil Poledouris.

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  2. Well, I admitted not too long ago that I used to watch Conan the Destroyer repeatedly as a wee girl. Not sure why as it's such a silly movie, hence the low RT rating. I can't bear to watch it now, ahah.

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    1. I could easily watch both movies again. They're silly, but I was definitely entertained. :)

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  3. I kind of disagree that they are both flawed. CtB takes itself seriously enough to sell the characters and story. The sequel, not so much. That is what makes the first film a great movie.

    The entire tone of the 2 films is different. The original, also is a hardcore revenge flick, IMO, more than a quest film. Conan's only goal is to kill the men who killed his people.

    The sequel, a movie dumbed down so much from the source material it garnered a PG rating, dealt with fleshing out the story (Not a very good story, BTW) with much less gravitas and little grace.

    One has Milius and Stone as the writers. The Destroyer? Who gives a f*^@? It was terrible. They even changed that epic intro music/Conan's Theme, for the second one. It's less weighty, less dark, less heavy, a bit faster and just doesn't have the epic depth of the original score. I'll bet you didn't even notice that, did you? :-P

    Plain and simple, Conan the Destroyer was Universal trying to cash in on their "sequelitis".

    They failed, missed every beat that makes the original a great revenge tale and hired a director, so immersed in the studio system of old, even the sets felt half-assed and like the entire thing was done on a backlot in L.A.

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    1. Fair enough. I enjoy both films, but I do agree that the first one is more serious and less silly.

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  4. The Execution = 1 for Conan Destroyer? You must be mistaken. Conan the Barbarian was 100 times the story than Destroyer. Conan the Destroyer has to be one of the worst scripts ever written and one of the worst films ever made.

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    1. Haha, I haven't seen these films since I posted this, but I remember Destroyer being a leaner, less-cluttered film. Neither screenplay was beyond reproach, though.

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